Before I continue, let me just say that I'm pleased that airport names have not yet been touched by the greedy hands of corporate America. If I had to fly into Coca-Cola Hartsfield Atlanta International, or Bank of America Douglas Airport, all sense of nostalgia would be forever removed - not that having to pay $10 for a blanket doesn't do that already.
It's been almost seven years now since September 11th occurred, and since then I believe that the public has been educated regarding items that can and cannot be taken aboard an airplane. I was surprised, therefore, to find myself behind a young, attitudinal Latino woman who attempted to bring a two-liter bottle of Lipton green tea through security.
Though I may never understand why I can only bring 3-ounce bottles in ziploc baggies aboard an airplane, given the state of the airline industry and the threats of the world, I don't pitch a fit if security wants to throw out my enormous bottle of soda. "Go ahead!" I'd say, "Take it! Have my watch, too! Security wand? Go ahead! Pap smear? Sure! Just get me to the plane, and give back my shoes before I get warts!"
The woman, however, was of a different stripe and began to argue that the bottle wasn't opened, and was therefore fair game for carry-on. She was so certain, in fact, that she began to lecture the security agent who was having none of the woman's roleplaying and offered to throw it away if she didn't check it with her baggage.
Some screaming and a rather embarrassing argument ensued. I was hoping to see agents bring the woman to the ground, but in a final, defiant gesture the woman took her bottle of soda, opened it, and swore that she would drink the whole thing right then and there. In a seat. Next to the metal detector. She began to chug.
I guess she showed them.
I was motioned to keep moving, but I wanted to watch the woman chug two liters of green tea. My eye stayed on her as I moved through security. the bottle was 25% gone by the time she was out of sight. I'm hoping that she threw up shortly thereafter.